Big Brother is Wåtching

In 1984, a lot of things happened. I think somewhere they had Olympics, and a president was elected in the United States of America. I bet he's dead now. I bet he didn't watch a lot of the olympics that year, either. Some time after these things happened in 1984, I was born.

My parents were very pleased with me in the beginning. I was pink and soft, and I probably smelled like roses (much like now). I was warm and lovable.

So what happened?

Here I stand before you, much more sarcastic than ever intended. I am loud, I am crude, and I am painfully amusing. I have been told that this will assure my spinsterhood from here on out. Oh well. It's the journey that matters, right? Fuck you, destination.

The following entries have been leaked from my brain to you, so that you might try and make sense of me, as you see fit.